I pencil God in on Sundays,
10:15 is when I’m bringing my crew.
I pencil God in on holidays,
It’s the right Christian thing to do.
I pencil God in at bedtime,
Falling asleep before finishing my prayers.
I pencil God in the next morning,
To finish telling Him my worries and cares.
I pencil God in when my life,
Brings me crashing down to my knees.
My mirror breaking into a million shards,
No longer reflecting a life full of peace.
I pencil God in when I’m concerned,
And control no longer seems mine.
I pencil God in when I’m pleased,
And life seems to be going just fine.
I pencil God in when I’m driving,
And a song reaches into my soul.
I belt out and sing of His praises,
My voice wavering out of control.
I pencil God in when it’s convenient,
Or when my mind wanders over to Him.
But my God’s pencil is broken,
His thoughts of me never a whim.
He carries no lead or eraser,
His calendar cleared open and wide.
Waiting for me to turn and see Him,
But my schedule makes me push Him aside.
My pencil is fervently writing,
All that I am required to do.
And time is just too precious,
To sit quietly and listen to His truths.
So the day my pencil slows to a standstill,
And my life is nearer to the end,
Will the moments I scheduled be remembered,
Or the times I introduced Christ to a friend?
Will the deadlines be oh so important,
Or the marks I made when they were complete?
Or the times when I faced my Savior,
While I sat and listened at His feet?
It’s time that I broke my pencil,
Making it look exactly like God’s.
No eraser or lead to speak of,
No appointment getting all of my nods.
I need to look up to my Savior,
Every minute of every day.
And put my life on the path He has chosen,
And throw my calendar away.
Well, I did it again. I stepped onto Satan’s playing field without wearing any protection. Man, do those fiery darts hurt. It seems like when one or two are flying in my direction, I can easily put up my shield and take cover. Lately, I have had dozens blazing a trail aimed directly at my heart, and I think I’ve chucked my shield, shoes, and helmet thinking I could run faster without them. My face is in the dirt, and they are hitting me at full force.
Why are these lessons always so difficult to learn?
I wish God’s armor was a one stop shop deal and when I put it on, it never comes off. Just as Christ’s grace is renewed each day, so is our decision as to what we put our faith and trust in.
I always seem to forget that part.
These fiery darts can take any shape. They can look like a stressful workday, a sick child at home, a pile of laundry sitting in the corner with no known date in mind when they can be touched, a wet and muddy dog that had a blast outside and made mud art on your carpet, or crazy clusters of happenings that seem to be occurring just so you can develop whiplash wondering where they are all coming from. Some of these darts Satan orchestrates, and some are just the fallout of the lives we live in a world that is not Eden. Eden didn’t have laundry or illness. It certainly didn’t have internet—the powers that be at the large phone company accidentally canceled mine when they meant to switch over my TV service—or hour long phone waits to get things straightened out. I sure wish we lived in Eden. It sounds nice there.
My mornings have been hectic, and I’ve jumped on the hamster wheel again. Do you have one in your house, too? I hate that thing. It makes me tired. As I’m running around my bedroom trying to figure out my day and battling emotions that are bubbling up from everywhere, God told me to sit down. I thought I was imagining it because seriously? Do I have time to sit? I felt His presence tell me again to stop what I was doing and sit. I slowed down the wheel with one foot and jumped off reluctantly. I really didn’t think this would do me any good, but I sat.
My feet dangled over the side of my bed, and then my head began to bow. My hands came together with my fingers intertwined and rested on my lap—I began to pray. I gave up to God my heart’s fears and worries. These He already knew, but He needed to know that I was going to unpack them and hand them over to Him. He needed to give me the drink of water from the ever bubbling well of Jesus’ sacrifice because He didn’t die so I could keep riding my wheel. I relented and humbled myself before my Father.
As I spilled my guts, I felt like God was pouring out His love for me. You know those moments in your life when you have the flu and are too sick to get out of bed let alone shower? When you finally are on the mend and take that first shower, you feel like you washed off a week’s worth of dirt. That’s how I felt. Even though I showered for work, I felt like I showered for the first time in a while. God’s love was washing over me, and it felt amazing.
Take a moment to stop and be still. Wherever you are, find a quiet spot in your world to just sit. Be with God and let your Father wash his love over you. Ignore the fiery dart that you don’t have time for this or being still won’t help. God’s been waiting a long time to spend a few moments with you. Let the creator of the universe, the ever-present and ever-powerful Father of your life have a few minutes of your time. He is watching you on the wheel, and it breaks His heart. You were meant for so much more than this. Let Him show you through His eyes what He sees for your day. I have a feeling it won’t include wasting time boiling over canceled internet service. His visions and ideas are of far greater worth and so are you.